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The Three Keys To Unlocking Your Most Confident Self

Written By Jenna Hushka

  • ambition,
  • confidence,
  • lifestyle,
  • practice,
  • productivity,
  • wellness,
  • women supporting women
looking up at Fredi model in gold

Credit: Jason Weiss for Fredi

Growing up, I used to look at people I admire and think, I would love to be like them or they’re so lucky they have that ‘wow’ factor.

I’d convince myself that these humans are a complete different breed. That this aurora that they gave off was an unattainable gift. Confidence, that is. I was always outspoken to some extent, but I knowingly stayed in the safety zone. I was constantly worried what others were saying or thinking of me. 

 When a speaker asked for questions, I would wait to be the sixth or seventh hand. When I was asked to give my opinion, I would conform to what someone else had already said. When I wanted to audition for a talent competition, I retreated in fear of embarrassment. 

But I became sick of this. I realized I was giving myself excuses to avoid being 100% me. I was holding back on living life on my terms.

"I work on my confidence every day and am proud of the woman I am and am continuing to become. But that wouldn’t have happed without working for it."

I began to realize those people I admire so much had one thing in common: they all were confident in who they were. They became successful through their talents, and hard work yes, but that was led by confidence. I decided I did not want to be the woman to sit in the dark while life passes her by.

Today, I work on my confidence every day and am proud of the woman I am and am continuing to become. But that wouldn’t have happed without working for it. 

Here are the three most impactful keys to unlocking a more confident self:

  1. Stop comparing yourself.

    If you want to completely stunt your growth, start comparing yourself with everyone around you. Because the quickest way to deflate your worth, is by benchmarking yourself with others.

    The more I desired to be like another, the more I was missing out on the beautiful person that already exists within.

    If you need someone to tell it to you straight, here it is:

    There will always be someone who is richer, more successful, more social, more ambitious, and more any other adjective you could think of, than you. But it doesn’t mean you can’t get there too.

    Don’t let someone else’s success be what stunts you from obtaining yours. Use that admiration to fuel your confidence into becoming the best person you can be.

  2. Be your own biggest fan.

    It may be tempting to seek validation from others. To tell you your hair looks just right, that your idea is exactly what is needed, or that you have changed someone’s life just by showing up.

    In fact, I used to crave this kind of validation from others, but I learned a valuable lesson: You will never fully seek approval from someone else’s words.

    That’s because it will never be 100% sufficient. You will continuously seek more and more from others as opposed to from approval within. True self confidence comes from self-validation. From believing in yourself entirely.

    Furthermore, it is not egotistical to be your own fan. You must be your own fan first. The funny thing is, the more you lead with the confidence of being your own fan, people will naturally respond positively in return.

  3. Practice confidence.

    Remember as a kid when someone taught you how to play, ‘Mary Had A Little Lamb’ on the piano? The second you learned it, you were eager to run up to any piano in sight and play your simplistic accomplishment.

    You gained that confidence because even as a kid, you learned and practiced it until it felt like second nature.

    I did not gain my confidence by hoping and wishing for it. I gained my confidence by practicing and working for it constantly.

    Confidence stems from a mindset but to improve this mindset, practicing is the easiest way to boost your self-assurance.

    So what exactly do you practice? Think about what currently holds your confidence back. Maybe it’s flirting on a Friday night out, or speaking up in a meeting of executives.

    Whatever it is, start small and practice. Start by saying something nice to someone in your local grocery store. Start by reading a book on a subject you feel unsure about. Start by just showing up. It may not feel groundbreaking to practice small things in order to grow your confidence, but it will only help you in the long run.

With these three keys in mind, all that’s left is that catchy Nike Slogan, “Just Do It”. At the end of the day, you just need to take a deep breath and just do it.

Go out and be the confident human you are supposed to be.

 

Jenna Hushka

Jenna Hushka is a writer, business lady, and thought creator. She has a mission to inspire others through uplifting words, and a little sarcasm. Living in Los Angeles, she finds her passion meeting people and finding ways to learn from everyone. She has traveled to over 30 countries and continues to write with articles reaching thousands of views.

Check out some of her articles, including: Learning to be happy where you are now.