Growing up, I used to look at people I admire and think, I would love to be like them or they’re so lucky they have that ‘wow’ factor.
I’d convince myself that these humans are a complete different breed. That this aurora that they gave off was an unattainable gift. Confidence, that is. I was always outspoken to some extent, but I knowingly stayed in the safety zone. I was constantly worried what others were saying or thinking of me.
When a speaker asked for questions, I would wait to be the sixth or seventh hand. When I was asked to give my opinion, I would conform to what someone else had already said. When I wanted to audition for a talent competition, I retreated in fear of embarrassment.
But I became sick of this. I realized I was giving myself excuses to avoid being 100% me. I was holding back on living life on my terms.