Skip to Content

Accepting Our Messy Selves (Literally)

Written By Leandra Lehmann

  • ambition,
  • productivity,
  • self acceptance,
  • self love,
  • women supporting women
stock image of woman lying on a pink mattress in messy room

Messy woman alert!

Do you ever let your home look a little lived in? Then have pangs of “oh no! What are they going to think” When guests come over? I know I do.

As a society, we are conditioned to have things on the outside, of our bodies and of ourselves, look and appear perfect. People assume wrongly how our physical may indicate our emotional state, and draw conclusions that just aren’t true.

Our home can tell a story about us. One where we are out killing it at work, balancing side gigs, getting kids to various activities, trying to maintain social lives, and maybe even get dinner on the table. That coat thrown on the couch after work is not a sign we’re messy. Neither are the dishes left overnight. Or the kids’ puzzle left out. They are actually signs we have our shit together. SO MUCH in fact, that we are deeming other BIG things more important, and choosing not to care about that right now.

"Our home can tell a story about us, one where we are out killing it at work, balancing side gigs, getting kids to various activities, trying to maintain social lives, and maybe even get dinner on the table."

The pressure to have things in the right place doesn’t always give us space as bad ass women to be our authentic selves and room to be a little messy- not unhygienic/ dirty/ I’ll see you in ten days when I bury myself out messy -but a LITTLE messy.

Would you rather have a messy social or work life but your home appears spotlessly clean? For women that can balance it all, kudos to you. Tell me your secret.

Don’t let clutter shame you. Good friends and family won’t judge. Some people even think messiness is a sign of creativity, others a representation of a happy, lived in home. As Elizabeth Gilbert said, “embrace the glorious mess that you are.”

What are your tips and tricks to stay on top of your home tidiness? Who and what helps?

Leandra Lehmann

Leandra Lehmann is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist and Art Therapist who believes creativity, mindfulness, physical health, community connection and self compassion are critical to promoting holistic healing. Her extensive community-based work with families and caregivers, and time as Head of People Ops in a start-up, informs her diverse interests which include trauma, social justice, women’s rights, stress management, self-care, and relationship building. She also draws from her experiences as a Third-Culture Kid from the Philippines and her passion for travel.